CANE & BELT

I had a rather interesting dialogue with a couple of work colleagues. All are married with kids (sorry, no chance for you single and young female readers...if there is any).

We were talking about how to discipline a child in this modern age. The cane is apparently the top choice as the most effective way to halt a child's wrong doing or mischief. Followed by...yes, you guess it ... a belt...yeah yeah....I know most of you disagree and will leave a comment requesting my contact number to report for child abuse.

I will only support the canning but definitely not the belt or clothes hanger for that matter. It was this guy whom has lived in Scotland for more than 15 years and it is his wife that uses the belt to discipline their children. The wife is an "Ang Mo" (white Caucasian) and prefer to use the belt and cane (made in Malaysia bought by the husband during his annual visit to his home town in KL) to teach their children a lesson. My immediate thought of the buckle hitting the poor old fella's body must be dreadful...maybe I have been watching too much of those violent and bloody DVDs...no parents in their right mind would do that...or would they?

Then, there is this other guy whom his wife is the so called "the bad guy" in the family that will not hesitate to whack the kids with rattan canes until there is distinguished cane mark....almost bleed as he described it ... on arms and legs around the areas not covered by sleeves or pants/skirts. He said the wife has no 'feeling' when executing these punishment BUT it was so effective that every time when the children are no behaving, all she need to do is stood and stare at the guilty party. Suddenly, everything is back to normal and the kids behave like angels.

We have also talked about "time-out". I used to practice that a lot on my eldest son when he was 3 or 4 years old. But, it soon lost its effectiveness that I had to buy 2 rotans (rattans) from the market that will do the magic. This other colleague whom uses "time-out" method said a couple of months back he ordered his then 8 years old son to stand at the corner, the son was so emotional that he broke out and cried...while banging his head on the wall....I thought that was quite stupid of him. The father then has to quickly stop him from further causing injury to his tiny brain.

After finishing my Kopi-O (black coffee), I continue and asked if anybody ever stopped in the middle of the highway and kick their children out of their cars? To my surprise, all of them concurred.

I felt really good because I am not the only one that has ordered my son to get out of the vehicle on one of our Melaka trips. One of them even said, the wife said "let's go home...and don't look back". Apparently, they have left their 8 years old son along the main road near One-Utama shopping complex and drove home without him. Luckily they were staying around the vicinity and the son actually knew the way and walked all the way home. After that the poor boy never repeats the nonsense in the car anymore.

One thing for sure....regardless of how do we discipline our own children, the most important point to remember is that they are not severely harmed/injured (physically and mentally). Choose a method that is most effective and one that will not have an adverse effect (both long and short terms) and definitely not get you in jail!