Gong Xi Fa Cai

Finally, its time of the year when every Chinese family is busy cleaning up and preparing for the arrival of a new Lunar year. The funny thing is...most people will only do the mega cleanup on special occasions such as the CNY or perhaps, your children's wedding day.

After all, you only do this possibly once a year especially the curtains, some dark wet corner of the store room that didn't get any attention from your domestic helper if it is not for the special celebration. I bet they will be cursing having to work extra hard during this time.

Office is noticeably more quiet already as most has taken early break to avoid the traffic getting out of town i.e. if they are not local.

Some says, CNY is meant for the children...Ang Pow (red packet with money or BigSweep lottery ticket), free flow of soft drinks, munchies, cookies...and for once not getting too much scolding or nagging from the old folks. I tends to agree as when one gets a bit older, and understands the true meaning of CNY, you see things a little different and would try best to please most people around you even though reluctantly some times. The true spirit of festivity and enjoyment often only applies to the younger generation.

This year, my family will not be celebrating CNY because of my grandmother demise last year and we are supposedly still mourning. This is the part of Chinese traditions that somehow make sense in many ways. First, it made us think of our loved one that will no longer be with us celebrating the happy occasion, and secondly without having to give "Ang Pow", buy all those CNY gifts, food etc. actually should provide cover for the expenses of funeral possession and sort. Also, not forgetting the expenses for the 3rd death anniversary grand celebration ("Gong Teik" - a Hokkien phrase for celebrating the good deeds on behalf of the deceased).

What the hell, my children can still celebrate with my in-laws (as suggested by my wife) and besides, we don't give doesn't mean that they cannot collect. Mind made up, will go back for reunion dinner...visit my parents on first day CNY...and off we travel down south to the in-laws.

To those whom are celebrating, wishing you:

Happy Chinese New Year! 恭喜发财!

For those who is planning to drive long distance (night or day), please be extra cautious of road condition and your speed. Hopefully, no liquor is influencing your concentration. Have a good one!

Free Ride

Girl hopped into taxi at a neighborhood wet market.

Taxi driver: "Hi Leng Lui, go home ah? Long time no see huh."

Girl: "Aiyah, too lazy to walk but no money to pay you lah. I let you play and you send me home for free ... can?"

Taxi driver: Turn around and saw the offering...immediately say..."Oh Yes! Sure...let me drive to a quiet corner first."

Girl: "OK. But make it quick, need to go back fast lah."

5 minutes later...taxi parked at a quiet playground corner.

Girl spread legs and get comfortable at back seat.

Girl: "Nah, got water inside already... all ready for you. Got protection cover or not?"

Taxi driver: "Aiyoh, don't have lah...so how?"

Girl: "Why so lousy one, afterwards wet everywhere how? Tell you what, you aim outside when shooting ok?"

Taxi driver: "No problem....Wah Sai, cool ... Aiyah...why so tight?"

Girl: "You need to press harder lah...harder, better mah, shoot harder and further..."

Taxi driver: "Ohhh Yes....got it .... woosh...woosh...woosh...wah....Siok man..Thank you."

Girl: Keep back her craft and say "OK. Now can you send me home?"

Taxi driver: "Surely lah...after enjoy, must return a favor lah." Grinning away.

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Just in case you are thinking that this is some kind of cheap erotic story clip, sorry lah...this site is still read by some young people. The true story line as follow:

The Girl is the taxi driver's neighbor in the same housing estate. She's got this imported water gun that can shoot at high pressure and is able to reach distant target. The taxi driver has been eyeing the water gun for months but couldn't get a chance to play it until the offer came when he happened to pick the Girl at the wet market.

Just wondering....how many of you actually begin the map the above dialogue to some saucy erotic scene found in a typical porn movie?

Wedding Dinner

I was attending my ex-colleague's wedding dinner in town and was surprised to find out that not much has changed since my own back in the late 90's.

The late start of a typical Chinese wedding dinner banquet is the norm although invitation card stated 7 pm sharp. There are too many VIPs not filling up the tables hence would be difficult to start the first course. The food presentation where switching off or dimming the function room's lights and sending out food trays accompanied by theme music (probably the few title that was popular) etc. None of these has changed after all these years.

One of the guests sitting on the same table as us brought up the subject of whether or not a wedding dinner would actually allow the host to make profit out of the event. Some said yes, but majority would say no but best would be to break even assuming the well-to-do relatives would be more generous with their "Ang Pows" (gift in monetary form). The reason being some of the friends or work colleagues may not be giving "Ang Pows" but rather would prefer to give photo frames, group gift items, or cash vouchers for SPA or departmental stores in place of the cash token.

Most often, there will be a few family giving one "ang pow" but have a table full of children and domestic helper. It would be quite rare that this one "ang pow" is as generous as the cost of one banquet table. Anyway, wedding reception is once in a lifetime thing and most newly wed or their parents would not be too bothered about this cost recovery factor, after all this is a joyous moment and all cost has been accounted for when a child is born. Part and parcel of being a parent I guess.

Most importantly, all relatives and friends have been informed that their child is now an independent adult with his/her own family. A fair price to pay for officially relinquishing their parental care for the child to their husband or wife. Time to enjoy the extra freedom without having to provide for the unmarried. Welcome to the world of being an "in-law" and occasionally play host for the visiting son/daughter with their babies if you are lucky!